Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Look at me, I am in pain

Fault finders are miserable people. Talking about the flaws of others makes them think they're better. The more that they find flaws in others, the more that they hide their own flaws and imperfections. Fault finders are bullies, too. They find satisfaction in oppressing others because it makes them feel invincible and it convinces them that they've got power to do what they want. Yes, bullies are cowards. They are scared of so many things that's why they belittle others and scare them, too. Misery loves company. Bullies, fault finders, cowards, are unhappy people. So they take it on anyone who lets them. Somehow they're convinced that when they inflict pain on others, they've avenged themselves for their own pains.

Bullies, fault finders, cowards... most of them are unloved people. They haven't received enough, proper love so they're not able to give any at all. They need it, they need compassion, too. They're actually wounded deep inside, they cry out for acceptance. The more that you fight with them, the less chance there is for them to realize what their real problem is. It is not easy to be compassionate though, especially with these type of persons. But this world will benefit greatly from a bit of kindness from us, when everyone else believes that bullies, fault finders, and cowards are, yes, nothing but miserable souls.

Daw mga ido kag kuring kamo!

Monday, October 13, 2014

I know a Pharisee

'You Pharisees! You clean the outside of cup and plate, while inside yourselves you are filled with extortion and wickedness.'

I know someone who likes posting mostly about Jesus on her FB wall. Almost everyday, she posts about Jesus the crucified, Jesus the scorched, Jesus the blooded, dying Saviour. You name it. She posts about quotes from preachers here and there, about philosophies and statements that seem to tell something about how righteous and Godly she is. But that is only for those who do not really, actually know her. I know her. I know more than what she thinks she is. Her FB wall is a sorry attempt to convince her more than 100 friends how such a clean and shiny kind of cup she is. But inside her, she is filled with worms. All that she can think about is herself and what she believes is real. She lives in her own world where everyone else must bow down before her, even kneel down. She despises people who cannot at all giver her praises. She has killed her own son, yes, in the most murderous, cold-bloodied way she did. This and a lot more, I know about her and I am appalled just looking at her FB wall filled with praises for the Lord. Certainly I do not want to be like her. I do not want to do anything that could resemble what she's done and keeps doing. I'm glad I met her.

It's helped me know what I do not want to become.  In spite of my own iniquities, I am striving not to use the name of the Lord in vain. Because I can see how this can make people look like. One shiny cup with worms in it. 

Reading 1, Galatians 5:1-6

1 Christ set us free, so that we should remain free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be fastened again to the yoke of slavery.
2 I, Paul, give you my word that if you accept circumcision, Christ will be of no benefit to you at all.
3 I give my assurance once again to every man who accepts circumcision that he is under obligation to keep the whole Law;
4 once you seek to be reckoned as upright through the Law, then you have separated yourself from Christ, you have fallen away from grace.
5 We are led by the Spirit to wait in the confident hope of saving justice through faith,
6 since in Christ Jesus it is not being circumcised or being uncircumcised that can effect anything -- onlyfaith working through love.

Responsorial Psalm, Psalms 119:41, 43, 44, 45, 47, 48

41 Let your faithful love come to me, Yahweh, true to your promise, save me!
43 Do not deprive me of that faithful word, since my hope lies in your judgements.
44 I shall keep your Law without fail for ever and ever.
45 I shall live in all freedom because I have sought your precepts.
47 Your commandments fill me with delight, I love them dearly.
48 I stretch out my hands to your commandments that I love, and I ponder your judgements.

Gospel, Luke 11:37-41

37 He had just finished speaking when a Pharisee invited him to dine at his house. He went in and sat down at table.
38 The Pharisee saw this and was surprised that he had not first washed before the meal.
39 But the Lord said to him, 'You Pharisees! You clean the outside of cup and plate, while inside yourselves you are filled with extortion and wickedness.
40 Fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside too?
41 Instead, give alms from what you have and, look, everything will be clean for you.

Deadly Selfie

I am actually just lost for words every time I see in the news about selfies that have gone deadly. What is it about taking selfies, really? To the point of risking your life? Maybe the reason why I am lost for words with this topic is because I only have harsh words to say to it. Where is the present generation going these days? Certainly if I am to prefer the way to die, I would prefer meaningful deaths like laying ones life for another, rather than dying from some freak, selfie accident.  How sorry is that? For me, it looks like it's not just about taking selfies itself that's the real issue. The real issue is why do people love to take selfies? I guess it's pretty obvious where I'm leading now. Yes, social media demands so much of our selfie hungry selves. We have to give it our best angle, otherwise we won't get the attention and acceptance that we think we need. They say "It's a validation" especially when you get likes in your selfie post. Taking selfies mean boasting of your status, what you have, where you are. Boasting, bragging, showing people what you've got. But these are all just shallow, tangible things that can come to an end.


Sunday, October 12, 2014


I don't want to be like this guy, and a lot of people who find satisfaction in pretending on social media. I don't want my son to grow up in this kind of society where people can't take their eyes away from their gadgets and computers. As if their whole life revolves on social media, it makes them seem happy to get these technologically modified relationships and connections. There is acceptance there for every like, there is friendships there for every nice comment.  Everyday, I see posts on FB from people I know. I know their struggles, their pains, what makes them cry. I have mine, too and we do share about these things in private chats. Sometimes it makes me wonder would it be possible to get real and not hide anything, or pretend at all? Come to think of it, people pretend because they want acceptance. People hide what's not so pleasant because they fear rejection. If only social media can also become a venue for real, more meaningful connections. Then there won't be too much pretending and hiding what's real. Then this world would be freer.

Hidden Wealth?


I wonder when this great hullabaloo about Binay’s hidden wealth will end. Yet again, it’s not only Binay right? There’s Purisima, Napoles, the list goes on.  Whether these issues are true or not, my own thoughts about it mostly revolve on the fact that surely these properties are real, and it’s real wealth. I cannot begin to imagine how possible is the word “hidden wealth” is. Why? Why hide your wealth? I wouldn’t hide my wealth at all. Because I won’t have anything to keep anyway. I won’t keep anything, actually. What for? What’s my wealth for if I keep it? What satisfaction will I get just looking at my gold bars? My villas? My cars? They have no meaning. They cannot give any meaning at all. I cannot bring them with me to my grave. I cannot bring them to heaven with me. Can anyone bring these things to hell?

This world is so deprived of love, selflessness and generosity. The hunger is not just by bread but by the things only the spirit can feel and see. It really confuses me how can people think about having riches and fame and fortune and not the things more important.  I will not keep anything because I will give everything away, every little thing that I think could mean love, sharing, and hope for others.  I am not here, alive and existing only for myself. I am here for a reason and that I have to prove.

At the end of each day, when we lay our head on our pillow, what do we think about? I think of what truly matters, because these things can bring me to heaven, the only real paradise. 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


“Amerikano amo panit, pero amo kasing-kasing, Pinoy.” This is a very heartwarming show for me. Hilarious, yes, no doubt about that. But I say heartwarming because in the midst of all the suffering the Filipino people is experiencing these days, and even the past year, it is reaffirming to know people of other races love the Philippines and claim they are Filipinos by heart. Solidarity. It means a lot to be connected.


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Dennis Trillo defends Bench

Manila, Philippines - Actor Dennis Trillo is one of the newest Bench Boys announced at the Bench Naked Truth Preview at the Bench Tower in Taguig City, 29 August 2014. (Adrian Bautista/NPPA Images)

“Lahat naman ng ginawa don for the sake of art,” says Dennis, who also appeared in the show. “Wala naman sigurong ipinakita na masama o makakadegrade sa kababaihan.”

Namanguan gid ko sa imo Dennis Trillo ka. Wait till you get married, start raising your own children, and in their teenage years you see one of them on stage being dragged around in a leash. I wonder if you can still say "nothing wrong with it". Besides there were a lot more things to point out on that fashion show. Everything was overdone. Do the fashion show organizers really need those two women kissing on stage?? What kind of art was that? What did they hope to achieve?? Everything was nonsense. There wasn't any hint of art in it. I hope these guys stop talking already. The more that they try to defend Bench, the more that they look funny. 

I am speaking because this isn't the kind of world I want my son to experience. Shallow, sex-oriented, nonsense even stupid people dominating the media. We want our children to grow up with a lot of sense in their heads, with full and clear knowledge of what is right and what is not. Of course they also need to learn the value of compassion, of being slow to judge and quick to forgive, understand and forbear. But all these have to be taken in a proper context. I do not judge these guys romping on stage with their butts to the audience, some people have to earn a living. I just hope that they stop talking and justifying things because there's no way around it anymore. If you want to be able to do what you want, then find an island all for yourselves, your like, so that people cannot see you, react and make comments.  In case you're forgetting, we are living in a society where we have norms and standards. 

Real Strength

Real strength can be tested in times when the world turns its back on you and you feel like you cannot trust anyone anymore. How do you remain strong, focused and steadfast when you are alone and you got no one to cheer you on, to encourage you and make your burden lighter? How do you stay positive even when almost every event in your life becomes ugly if not hopeless? Real strength is when you've got nothing to hold on to, when your vision has been blurred by tears that do not cease to fall, when it's all too dark to see anything at all ... it is real strength when you're able to make it through. Alone.

Marcos Loot

Former Philippine first lady Imelda Marcos kisses the glass case of her late husband, president Ferdinand Marcos, in Batac town north of Manila, July 2, 2014"Marcos loot" are two hottest keywords these days. I despise the existence of Imelda Marcos. I puke looking at her photo, yes that's the one on the left, thanks to yahoo. Look at her. Aren't you just disgusted, too??? What's really confusing for me is why they were even given the chance to assume power and allowed to take the seat in the government. They're everywhere in Leyte, Ilocos Norte, everywhere. Is that how stupid Filipinos are? A few years ago, I went to Vigan and everybody was egging me to go see the stupidly famous oh-so-temporary grave of the late Dictator. I was hesitant but I went anyway, just for the heck of it. Or maybe no. I went because for some funny reason, I wanted to face the man I started hating as long time ago as when I was just a preschooler. You see, my own family suffered Martial Law to the point that I had a dented childhood. Me and my other siblings. 

My father is coming up with a book about Escalante Massacre.  I am sure it's going to shed light on so many things. I am my father's editor and going through his narrative isn't easy. It's painful in every way. It makes me go back to those darker days when everything was a painful blur. I didn't really understand everything but the one thing that was very clear was the fear that encompassed me, my siblings, our whole family for a long, long time I thought it wasn't going to end. Now, several decades after, I go through it again and it's all the more painful realizing how much suffering my own parents have gone through, especially my father. I hate Ferdinand Marcos. I loath Imelda and her pathetic collection of shoes that meant unimaginable hunger for so many Filipinos. I hate and loath and despise her children who seem not to understand anything about what their parents had done, in spite of their intelligence and a lot of sense. I guess greed doesn't have anything to do with intelligence or a lot of sense. Instead, greed makes people look extremely pathetic. Look at her smooching on the microbe-riddled glass. It speaks more meaning to my word "pathetic". 

Charice: 'Mahal ba ako ng sarili kong bansa?'

Read this from ABS-CBN news: Charice Pempengco expressed doubt as to whether Filipinos are truly proud of her after earning international recognition over the years.

The 22-year-old singer took to Instagram on Monday to lament the "bullying" she has received time and again from Filipino viewers despite her achievements on the international stage.

Since she debuted on American television in 2007, Charice has gone on tour with Canadian composer David Foster, released albums internationally, nabbed a guest role in the TV musical "Glee," and appeared in the comedy movie "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squekquel," among others.

Despite these achievements, according to Charice, Filipino viewers tend to dwell on her supposed shortcomings and continue to criticize her for her looks, her personal life, and more recently, her sexuality.

I was like, what? Does the world owe you anything Mr/Ms Pempengco?? I don't really care about her hurt feelings. As far as I'm concerned I don't give a damn about her sexual preference. Well, I am continually disturbed with the drastic transition but so be it. But recently she's been behaving like a spoiled brat expecting everybody to nurse her boo-boo. Wtf?? The international audience loves you, and that's supposed to be more than enough. You know the international audience lauds people who come out of their darkest, most scary closets. It's a lot easier for you to get their acceptance and admiration. Filipinos are more conservative. Not everybody will like the idea of you transforming from a sweet, charming lady with nice locks bouncing when she belts her powerful notes, into a confused looking individual, noodle-hair, ultra confident stranger. Filipinos are slow to absorb that, with the people's conservatism. Accept that. And stop fretting.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Alternative ways to combat dengue

We just beat dengue once again. My son was only four when he was inflicted with this deadly viral decease and he beat it heroically. It wasn't easy to get a very picky four-year-old to eat all the time, since dengue doesn't have any cure and the only best way to combat it is to make sure the patient eats a lot and takes a lot of fluids. We tried tawa-tawa that time and I was pretty sure that was the one that helped the platelet rise. But this time, I lost most of my faith in tawa-tawa. Since day one of his very high fever, I already gave him tawa-tawa. But still, after the 3-day fever and we went for a blood test, his result showed that his platelet count dropped to 88. I was so scared and I rushed him to the hospital even though that time he said he was already feeling well. He was actually eating already and gaining his strength back. He said he was feeling all normal. But I wanted to make sure. 

First day at the hospital his platelet count showed 115 so I had high hopes. We went on with tawa-tawa, cmd mineral drops, gatorade, yakult, pineapple juice, all those stuff that everyone suggested. Second day, we had a plateau. It was still 115. I was beginning to worry. And on our third day, it dropped to 102. I was crying and crying I was so scared. Then someone sent me a message telling me to try papaya leaves extract, which I did immediately.
We pounded the papaya leaf and extracted its juice, mixed some honey with it to pacify the bitterness and had my son drink the bitter but miraculous herbal medicine. Yes, indeed it was miraculous. Because the following morning, the blood test result his platelet count rose to 168, thanks be to God, the maker of everything including papaya! I am still in awe and I am writing this article to share to others who, God forbid, will undergo the same ordeal such as we have undergone. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014


I have always been a hardheaded student. I hated rules. It made me feel like I was at the mercy of these people coming up with these rules. I was convinced that rules were made to oppress, not to bring justice. And I continue to feel the same way about life. Yes, I am such a hard headed student of life. But just like the way I made it through school and eventually earning my degree, I go through it munching on my apathy and let it nourish me into the rebel student that I am. And yes, just like the way it happened, I was able to make it through school. I am pretty sure I will also make it through right now, as I go to life school every day, being the rebel that I alife degreem. I will learn, I am learning. I will pass.
When I was a freshman in college, in my Algebra class, our professor gave us a sneak peek of what was going to happen the entire school-year. I knew instantly it was going to be hard. I doubted ever passing it. As our first session ended, I approached my professor and said, “I am too dumb to ever understand Algebra. But I don’t want to fail. My class card will determine my future.” My professor smiled at me gently, amused by my honesty and she made a deal with me. “Give me a complete attendance. I won’t mind zero quizzes. Just see me in class everyday and if you’re able to do that, I promise you an 81.” I grinned from ear to ear. Hope was real.
I guess life school will require me the same thing. Complete attendance. No running away, no sulking in my pillow and getting a headache so I could miss school. Lousy as I am, I guess I have the chance to get Life Degree in the end.

Thursday, September 11, 2014


It's that moment in your life when there is nothing but total darkness. Everything seems not to work out right. Every one seems to hate you. No one to trust. No one to hold on to. No one to talk. It's suffering after suffering. It's humiliation after humiliation. It's heartache after heartache. It's complete loneliness, where you are lost in the middle of the road, and there's no signpost, no passing cars or strangers to ask for help. It's just you. And then you fall on your knees and endure the pain, the scare of being alone and lost, and the sense of hopelessness just by looking at the strange road that doesn't seem to end. I have just understood that this moment in our life is called Kenosis moment.  In Christian theologykenosis is the concept of the 'self-emptying' of one's own will and becoming entirely receptive to God and the divine will. It is used both as an explanation of the Incarnation, and an indication of the nature of God's activity and will. Mystical theologian John of the Cross' work "Dark Night of the Soul" is a particularly lucid explanation of God's process of transforming the believer into the icon or "likeness of Christ". (wikipedia) Simply put, a Kenosis moment is not something entirely unpleasant of hopeless. It's not something close to death. Instead, it is a passageway to life, if only one is able to go through it and overcome it.

Bayron Katie: on paradigm shift

These days, if I try to look around me, I guess this is what people need most of all. We all need a venue where we can say our thoughts and feelings out loud, without being judged...at least not too quickly. We all just need to be listened to, to lay down all the cards so we can sort them out. When that happens, when we're able to do that, it helps us put our minds in the right perspective. Humans are inherently good. We were created perfect. No one wants to be bad. No one deliberately wants to harm the other, or be mean to someone, or actually hurt someone. Watching this video has reminded me that if we all are stripped and naked, without our masks, without our defenses, we are all the same. We all want to be accepted, to be understood, to be cared for. We all have these needs. If we feel we are accepted, if we feel we are understood, if we feel we are being taken care of, we are a better person, and this makes us want to take care of others, too.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Tall Order

Yes, indeed it's a tall order. One of the most difficult things I have to do as a Christian. It is something in which I do not have any choice but just follow. "Do good to those who hate you," how will I be able to do that? It is so painful even just thinking about it. "Bless those who curse you." Why is it so necessary?? Present the other cheek when someone slapped you? "Lord your enemies and do good to them." I have no more words. I just want to surrender now and let God be God. He knows exactly why he is asking for these things from us. Funny though, as I read through these instructions, I feel a sense of comfort, maybe it's because in between these lines are his own assurance that he is in charge, that he loves me that's why he wants me to walk in holiness with him.

Gospel, Luke 6:27-38

27 'But I say this to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly.
29 To anyone who slaps you on one cheek, present the other cheek as well; to anyone who takes your cloak from you, do not refuse your tunic.
30 Give to everyone who asks you, and do not ask for your property back from someone who takes it.
31 Treat others as you would like people to treat you.
32 If you love those who love you, what credit can you expect? Even sinners love those who love them.
33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit can you expect? For even sinners do that much.
34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to get money back, what credit can you expect? Even sinners lend to sinners to get back the same amount.
35 Instead, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend without any hope of return. You will have a great reward, and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.
36 'Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate.
37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.
38 Give, and there will be gifts for you: a full measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing,will be poured into your lap; because the standard you use will be the standard used for you.'

Gospel, Luke 6:20-26

I wonder where I belong in all these mentioned in the Gospel. Right now is one of those moments for me, when I feel nothing seems to work out right. But it is such great comfort to know that he is a God of promises. I can only hold on to these promises. Do I even deserve to ask, "Please be near, Lord"? I do not have that confidence right now, that confidence that the Lord looks at me with compassion and understanding. I have lost all confidence from all the sufferings lately. Everyday, I put up a face, a brave face. Because that is what all warriors do. Everyday, I feel like I only go through it like a warrior would. But isn't that just the right thing to do? How else will I go through it? I am not a damsel in distress anymore. I have screwed up big time and I feel that I have lost all right to complain or feel like the world owes me anything. 

Gospel, Luke 6:20-26

20 Then fixing his eyes on his disciples he said: How blessed are you who are poor: the kingdom of God is yours.
21 Blessed are you who are hungry now: you shall have your fill. Blessed are you who are weeping now: you shall laugh.
22 'Blessed are you when people hate you, drive you out, abuse you, denounce your name as criminal, on account of the Son of man.
23 Rejoice when that day comes and dance for joy, look!-your reward will be great in heaven. This was the way their ancestors treated the prophets.
24 But alas for you who are rich: you are having your consolation now.
25 Alas for you who have plenty to eat now: you shall go hungry. Alas for you who are laughing now: you shall mourn and weep.
26 'Alas for you when everyone speaks well of you! This was the way their ancestors treated the false prophets.