ANABELLE DIGNO BADILLA

This is really interesting. Thanks to my sis Bebang for sharing. hehehe. I was smiling the whole time I was reading, so amused at reading myself. It's like watching myself in front of a mirror, naked, studying each delicate detail of how I really look. Some things here don't apply to me though, at least the way I look at myself. I always believe that every person is a mystery, encompassed with myths and truths only the Greater One understands.


You entered: Anabelle Digno Badilla

There are 20 letters in your name.
Those 20 letters total to 79
There are 9 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Latin Female Beautiful. Graceful.

Your number is: 7

The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.

The expression or destiny for #7:
Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual.

If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well.

Your Soul Urge number is: 11

A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.

If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.

If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.

The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.

Your Inner Dream number is: 5

An Inner Dream number of 5 means:
You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplished.

THE ROAD I'VE TAKEN

Nothing like a box of Cadburry. Well, after a long hiatus, if I may call it, I am now actually finding it hard to decide whether I would write something about that box of chocolate I would die for, or about that new pair of skirt and shirt I got from my sister's friend's rummage sale who's migrating, or about the way I am seated in this photo, slouched, painfully thin from all the hardwork this present life requires, or that contented smile born out of my husband's regular weekly break from the camp...pppphhhh!!! Such a long sentence that is. You see, there is so much goings-on in my life, a lot to blog about. But I only got two hands!! Sometimes I just wish I'm a giant octopus.

Not that I am resenting, though. God has been good to me and in spite of daily concerns, left and right, he still gives me reasons to be thankful for everyday. I can talk about these reasons for hours, but on top of these all is a happy family life. As long as no one among my loved ones gets sick, I am more or less a happy person, eager to give more.

My concerns lately, were mostly about the concerns of those I love.

1. A friend currently based in Atlanta, who recently gave birth via vacuum extractor, has been in deep darkness with her baby's life in danger. Right now, we're still praying for Baby Mikko to survive, grow up well and healthy. That is one miracle Gabriel and I have been praying for, very fervently.

2. Another friend, still not married, has been biting her nails over the possibility that she could be pregnant. Human beings are inherently hardheaded. That's all I can say.

3. My own brother, our only brother, trying out a new life for his family in Manila. With 5 little kids in tow, and a pregnant wife, I can understand why he said, one time, driving like mad along one of the highways there, shouted and cried out to God all what his heart couldn't say. That same night, when he told me about it, I cried and cried and cried until there were no more tears to cry, but I was still crying.

These are just three among the many. And these sufferings are mine, too. I take it upon myself, to suffer like they do. How can I help it? I've been on my knees many times over and though I may never understand God why he allows his people to be in such pain, at least I know at the end of the road, he is there waiting.

FLOWERS FROM GABRIEL

He went out with Manang Nene and when he spotted this flower, he asked it to be picked, and, as if by reflex, came inside to find me. Nene asked, "Kay sin-o mo na ihatag?" "Nanay nang, Nanay nang (nang means 'lang')," he replied.

He's not fully aware of Mothers' Day and those sort of things yet, but the fact that he already knows what are flowers for, is enough joy for me. Enough love received, to be freely given back.

Reinee has not been around in a number of special occasions already, and though I never resent him for this, I am still most of the time struggling not to be sad. Gabriel is compensating, in more ways than one. Making up for his Tatay's absence, making up for the times he becomes a menace rather than an angel.

My son has taught a lot of lessons already that I always knew I would eventually learn, but didn't know it would be this rewarding. Difficult, yes. Tiring, yes. Exhausting, tripple yes. But the joy that motherhood brings, it's incredible. Far beyond compare. A cliche, but can't think of other words for it.

Each time I marvel at how amusing, entertaining, adorable Gabriel is, I can't help wondering, was I that lovable to Mamang when I was that little? Did I give her that same, simple joy and delights? Did she ever shower me with kisses and gag me with her hugs? I hope I will know. I hope I will have the courage to ask her. I hope both of us will bear the awkwardness of such a question.

And I hope to raise Gabriel, not having to feel awkward each time he says "I love you" to anyone, not having to anticipate rejection when he wants to give someone a hug, not having to wonder is he loved?

I thank God he made me a mother. It made me understand and accept my own mother, appreciate her, love her more. And show it.

MUSING

... life so dependent on me ...