YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO'S MY HERO?

'AY LAB YU MAMA..' I wake up in the morning feeling rather tired and melancholic..and my son brightens me up with that greeting. All of a sudden, I am like bring it on sadness! bring it on discouragement! bring it on life!! His sweet little voice resonates in my ear for the rest of the day... and for the rest of my life.

My son is my hero, the wind beneath my wings. The moment I discovered I was finally pregnant, though I was so full of joy, I couldn't help asking, how will I become a mother? My own son taught me to become one.

I am still learning the ropes, I am still discovering. It can be tiring, sometimes scary, but most of the time motherhood is a mystical, blissfully magical experience.

'AY LAB YU MAMA..' My little hero simply says it all.


PS: He calls me NANAY. But interestingly, each time he says I love you, it has to be with a MAMA, not NANAY.

INCOGNITO

I used to maintain a secret blog site. This was where I wrote about my unending angst, profound sufferings, deepest longings. I decided to stop going to that secret hideaway as I thought it would only pull me back from facing my realities squarely.

But these days, I feel like going back there again. Sit in my virtual garden, smell the leaves that get rotten in the earth. After all, it is a fact that every once in a while, one can feel misunderstood, unappreciated, unnoticed. In my previous blog I said something about bringing some pains with me to my grave. I guess I'm wrong for saying that. Because I can't keep pain to myself. I write it down. And there, in my abandoned abode, strangers pass by, have tea with me...and listen.

I hide from the real world while I bask in the sunlight of my demented truths. Then again are they really demented? I guess some of it are sane enough, no matter how some people scowl at my veracity when I talk about them...and live them.

When I am hidden, when I am nonexistent, I have the freedom to think that way, to feel that way.