I used to maintain a secret blog site. This was where I wrote about my unending angst, profound sufferings, deepest longings. I decided to stop going to that secret hideaway as I thought it would only pull me back from facing my realities squarely.
But these days, I feel like going back there again. Sit in my virtual garden, smell the leaves that get rotten in the earth. After all, it is a fact that every once in a while, one can feel misunderstood, unappreciated, unnoticed. In my previous blog I said something about bringing some pains with me to my grave. I guess I'm wrong for saying that. Because I can't keep pain to myself. I write it down. And there, in my abandoned abode, strangers pass by, have tea with me...and listen.
I hide from the real world while I bask in the sunlight of my demented truths. Then again are they really demented? I guess some of it are sane enough, no matter how some people scowl at my veracity when I talk about them...and live them.
When I am hidden, when I am nonexistent, I have the freedom to think that way, to feel that way.
10 comments:
Anne, glad to hear from you again. I feel like doing the same thing hehe. If it will help you, why not? There is nothing wrong with that.
real world is cruel sometimes. ti amu na gusto ta na lg manago, but anne, compared to other people we knew, we are stronger than they are and more smarter...so why hide?
anne i don't feel well, i was in manila sang nov.1 just arrived yesterday...by the way, i got a batman pajamas for abe.
mapz, yes. we need it every once in a while. kumbaga, just enough time to deal with yourself and personal issues.
cat, it doesn't mean though, that i live there for good. and for me, to remain strong than the many, i just have to do an inward journey and deal with the monster lurking in my depths.
haaay..may mga bagay lang gid kun kis-a nga mas nami taguon sa kaugalingon. you know that better than me cathyne costales bantug.hehehe
cat,txt me lang anytime if pwede na kmi da ka go sa haws nyo.hehe..can't wait na gid sa pajamas ni abe. im sure mag ululugit naman sang gamit.tenk yu ninang cat!
where is this place? kanami anne...
hehehe namasura lang ko ya bala sa internet.hehehehe.pro gusto ko may own pic ko nga pareho sina.
anne..if there's any person u know who feels the same way...its me.its a a temporary shelter..a place one can just be whatever..away from other people's notion of right and wrong,judgements and prejudices...and as soon as i've cried an ocean..or made a mountain over a molehill...i can now face the world....and say im ready for the next day...
Sometimes in the company of strangers, of people who have no idea what and who I you are, it's like starting with a clean slate. There are no preconceived notions, hence no judgment.
yes you're right, greymom. and in effect they get to listen to you,give you the attention that you need at the moment.
mir, huo, in other words, catharsis :)
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