'Lay down your life for me?' answered Jesus. 'In all truth I
tell you, before the cock crows you will have disowned me three times.' –John 13:38
Indeed I have disowned Jesus too many times in my life, I
cannot count them anymore how often. I have disowned him when I failed to bless
others with my actions, I have disowned him when I chose to nurse hatred,
resentment, anger. I have disowned him when I failed to die in myself in order
to live for others. I have disowned him when instead of sharing about his love
to others, I myself question his existence.
How really do I lay down my life for the Lord? When I cannot even manage
to go through a day without complaining? How do I really lay down my life for
him when I panic at simple problems concerning my survival. I cannot say I
could lay down my life for him when I am too focused on what I should attain
for myself, when I am too preoccupied in surviving, when I would rather want to
make sure I am in a better position than others seem to be already. Today’s reading reminded me how I become
Peter every once in a while, denying him to save my life, how I become Judas
every once in a while, betraying him by my selfish actions. And yet, I can only
try again and again, to get up and start again and maybe at the day of Crucifixion,
I can be that thief beside him on the cross, with the privilege to ask him
could I be with him in heaven.
Daily Reading for Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Reading 1, Isaiah 49:1-6
1 Coasts and islands, listen to me, pay attention, distant peoples. Yahweh called me when I was in the womb, before my birth he had pronounced my name.
2 He made my mouth like a sharp sword, he hid me in the shadow of his hand. He made me into a sharpened arrow and concealed me in his quiver.
3 He said to me, 'Israel, you are my servant, through whom I shall manifest my glory.'
4 But I said, 'My toil has been futile, I have exhausted myself for nothing, to no purpose.' Yet all the while my cause was with Yahweh and my reward with my God.
5 And now Yahweh has spoken, who formed me in the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob back to him and to re-unite Israel to him;-I shall be honoured in Yahweh's eyes, and my God has been my strength.-
6 He said, 'It is not enough for you to be my servant, to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back the survivors of Israel; I shall make you a light to the nations so that my salvation may reach the remotest parts of earth.'
Responsorial Psalm, Psalms 71:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 15, 17
1 In you, Yahweh, I take refuge, I shall never be put to shame.
2 In your saving justice rescue me, deliver me, listen to me and save me.
3 Be a sheltering rock for me, always accessible; you have determined to save me, for you are my rock, my fortress.
4 My God, rescue me from the clutches of the wicked, from the grasp of the rogue and the ruthless.
5 For you are my hope, Lord, my trust, Yahweh, since boyhood.
6 On you I have relied since my birth, since my mother's womb you have been my portion, the constant theme of my praise.
15 My lips shall proclaim your saving justice, your saving power all day long.
17 God, you have taught me from boyhood, and I am still proclaiming your marvels.
Gospel, John 13:21-33, 36-38
21 Having said this, Jesus was deeply disturbed and declared, 'In all truth I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.'
22 The disciples looked at each other, wondering whom he meant.
23 The disciple Jesus loved was reclining next to Jesus;
24 Simon Peter signed to him and said, 'Ask who it is he means,'
25 so leaning back close to Jesus' chest he said, 'Who is it, Lord?'
26 Jesus answered, 'It is the one to whom I give the piece of bread that I dip in the dish.' And when he had dipped the piece of bread he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot.
27 At that instant, after Judas had taken the bread, Satan entered him. Jesus then said, 'What you are going to do, do quickly.'
28 None of the others at table understood why he said this.
29 Since Judas had charge of the common fund, some of them thought Jesus was telling him, 'Buy what we need for the festival,' or telling him to give something to the poor.
30 As soon as Judas had taken the piece of bread he went out. It was night.
31 When he had gone, Jesus said: Now has the Son of man been glorified, and in him God has been glorified.
32 If God has been glorified in him, God will in turn glorify him in himself, and will glorify him very soon.
33 Little children, I shall be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and, as I told the Jews, where I am going, you cannot come.
36 Simon Peter said, 'Lord, where are you going?' Jesus replied, 'Now you cannot follow me where I am going, but later you shall follow me.'
37 Peter said to him, 'Why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.'
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