Run to You

Last night was one of the darkest nights in my life. Well, not that I am not used to them. They come more often than others may think. I was just suddenly overwhelmed with self-pity thinking about where my life is going and how easy it is for others to look down on me simply because I chose the things that I did in my life. I felt so misunderstood, so alone, so deprived of so many things. I have been working hard all my life, always trying to have my own place in the sun. Everything seems to be futile all the time. In times such as this, it is easy to blame others, to find reasons for my misery and failures. There was a great temptation to indulge in it, there was a strong force pulling me further and further into the pit of darkness where nothing resides but shrieking voices telling me what a mess my life has become.  I slipped in and out of consciousness, each waking moment meant bouts of pain and crying. Then it was morning. I was still crying until I got to a point where I didn't know anymore why I was crying. And I had to laugh despite myself. 

This is my battle, no one can fight it for me. "Lord I promise you I will not let the enemy get me down. With you, I can do this." Just as the long night was over, my morning started as if nothing has happened last night. I kept telling God over and over, "I promise you I am not running away anymore." 

Reading today's Gospel brought me so much delight. I am just so happy I didn't give in to the temptation of questioning God, complaining, and demanding for answers. I let go and let him take over when I reached a point where it got scarier already. After all, he's my Father, and he knows when I need him the most. I ran to him bruised, scared, tired. And he welcomed me with arms wide open. 

Gospel for December 11, 2013, Wednesday

Claretian Communications Foundation, Inc.

Posted at 12/11/2013 5:11 AM | Updated as of 12/11/2013 5:12 AM

2nd Week of Advent
Damasus I
Psalter: Week 2
Ps 103:1–2, 3–4, 8 and 10
O bless the Lord, my soul!

1st Reading: Is 40:25–31
To whom, then, will you liken me
or make me equal? says the Holy One.
Lift up your eyes and see:
who has created all this?
He has ordered them as a starry host
and called them each by name.
So mighty is his power,
so great his strength,
that not one of them is missing.
How can you say, O Jacob,
how can you complain, O Israel,
that your destiny is hidden from me,
that your rights are ignored by Yahweh?
Have you not known, have you not heard
that Yahweh is an everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth?
He does not grow tired or weary,
his knowledge is without limit.
He gives strength to the enfeebled,
he gives vigor to the wearied.
Youth may grow tired and faint,
young men will stumble and fall,
but those who hope in Yahweh
will renew their strength.
They will soar as with eagle’s wings;
they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and never tire.

Gospel: Mt 11:28–30
Jesus said to the crowds: “Come to me, all you who work hard and who carry heavy burdens and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble of heart; and you will find rest. For my yoke is good and my burden is light.”