Sunday, October 6, 2013

The Hesitant Queen

Made me cry buckets reading my father's tribute blog for me.



October 4, 1975. BACOLOD CITY. FLASHBACK. It was as normal a day as I could remember except for that one very special blessing that God has put my way to treasure forever: the birth of Flor's another child, our second! But this is going ahead of the story.

A few days ago any thought about having another baby would make my mind spin with worry and my feet would feel cold and numb at the prospect of facing yet another trial in my young life. Instead of happily expecting the birth of a son (I was really so sure that "she" would be a boy!) all I could ever think of was how I could face the fact that I wasn't able to save a single cent for this eventuality. Now I have to dig deep into my shallow brain for some bright ideas to solve my predicament, because Dr. Sanson, Flor's gynecologist, has just advised us to prepare for a cesarean operation; and I'm dead sure that the procedure would have had to eat out a fortune because my mind now refuses to remember the exact amount needed for that. Flor's date with the stork was supposed to be due by September 20. We're overdue by almost two weeks now. 

I was a 25 year-old Army Sergeant assigned as the Administrative NCO of La Consolacion College ROTC/WATCU, and I was supposed to be enjoying my homecourt assignment after a one-year jab at the same position the year before at Western Institute of Technology (WIT) ROTC/WATCU. But being a soldier with a Php550.oo monthly cheque during that time couldn't be considered a well-off dude at all. And I was careless and easy-going in my ways as a young husband, never minding how Flor must have suffered trying to stave off the daily curse of poverty with my meager income. Now my mind rattled at how I could produce the needed amount for Flor's delivery. Luckily for me I got a level-headed wife, and we talked and planned of having her air-lifted to the Army Station Hospital at Camp Lapulapu in Cebu. It was the best decision we have had for a while because Camp Lapu-lapu was the home of my Division and I could easily apply for loans there, and besides the Hospital was one of the best in the region. There was an Army Jeep assigned as my service vehicle, and I got a driver who was an Army draftee, so in anticipation of my child's birth I took the opportunity to practice driving and have the vehicle parked every night at our rented home somewhere in the 13th-Aguinaldo Sts. But the day before we planned to fly for Cebu, I ordered my driver to drive the Jeep back to LCC for safekeeping. Very early the next day, however,(on or about 3:00 a.m. to be exact) Flor felt that searing pain in her womb--that telltale pain of childbirth. The Jeep is peacefully parked some two kilometers away!

We panicked. Nong Johnny, my brod-in-law, hurriedly fetched a taxi while Manang Minda, fussed over Flor. Me? I don't know, I can't remember. Probably I was just too stunned for any commendable chores. The taxi arrived and we hurriedly boarded it. The car sped off with no untoward delay, but alas and alack--after 2 blocks away its engine throttled off and bogged down to uselessness and immobility! We haplessly looked for another taxi and luckily at that ungodly hour we were able to find one, and again we took no delay in boarding. Time is gold, so they say. In a jiffy we reached Ramon S. Torre Medical Center (formerly called the Riverside Hospital), and the staff did their thing in ordinary emergencies such as the one on our hands we never considered ordinary. Two weeks late in coming--ugh! What was this child so hesitant about in coming out into this world???

"This world has more good things than bad, buddy, so just chill out and keep it cool, man," like a fool I kept telling myself as I paced back and forth while praying and waiting for Flor's successful delivery. That was my second chance at waiting for a miracle to happen in childbirth. The experience was damning and at the same time awesome to have felt being part of that wonderful thing they called God's unfathomable ways in Creation. They'd say that every time a woman gives birth she's got one of her foot at death's door, and I just couldn't help myself from trembling with fear at the thought of grappling with uncertainties such as this; and so I would have to cling to God for mercy and I would have to pray for HIm to save my wife and child like I never prayed before. 

Minutes seemed like hours, and hours dragged on like days. I would sometimes stare blankly at a space and blame myself for being so stupid so as not to have been able to prepare for this. I blamed myself for my child's seemingly hesitant will to get out of her mother's womb on time as expected. Must "he" perhaps have felt some tinge of fear to have such a lousy and irresponsible father as me? What could have compelled "him" to hold back so stubbornly inside her mother's innards? This world is so full of wicked stuff and things we'd all hope to be free from, but still I would say that this world is still good--just needs some kinda competent rulers to right the wrongs and straighten the crooked road that lie ahead. Hey, could my child be one good ruler someday? "He" will be my king! He will rule my world with wisdom and justice! "He" would---

I was suddenly jolted out of my stupor as the nurse and attendants rushed in to the room pushing that hospital bed with the wheels. I asked one of the attendants, "How's my---". And she cut me in saying like, "She's a girl!"  A girl. Not a boy. Not a King. She's a Queen! Oh boy, I got two girls in a row now (the other one, of course, was born just a year ago)!  In an instant I was already there at the nursery viewing window, and I saw her frail figure and she was crying out like it was the end of the world! She was a bit thin and her skin was wrinkled. She seemed so small and helpless, but the nurse got one hell of a job just trying to pacify her. Despite her size (she's somewhere within the vicinity of 6.6 to 6.8 pounds) she was so exceptionally strong and so full of power shouting like she got two battalions of warriors beside her! What a girl! What a boss! What a QUEEN!

TODAY is her birthday. What could I say after all these years? She has stood on her right as a Queen in the many instances where life would seem unruly and insurmountable woes would baffle and try to sweep her out of her wits. She's a courageous and a fighting Queen in the countless instances where her enemies would encircle her and try to overpower her with treachery. She is a Queen who is so full of dreams in winning more victories, in strengthening and fortifying her trenches, building up more castles, scouting for more verdant lands in the horizon, seeking for endless conquests! 

But she has her weaknesses, too. And she have had her shares of woes, of troubles, and failures as well. Despite her bullheadedness, courage, and pride she still maintained that aura of royal dignity and calm resoluteness in spirit and bearing. And she faces life like the Queen that she is: Dignified, calm, strong.

And what could I and her Mamang wish for her? Well, first and foremost, Anne, we would like to wish you all the best that this day and this year can bring. We wish you all the happiness and especially all the JOYS of life and PEACE that only a clean and honest living can bring. Most importantly, we wish you softness of heart so that you may love more, and the wisdom to know which path to take in the crossroads of life. May the God of Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Moses and all the Prophets bless you and comfort you, and may He guide you and teach you His ways all the days of your life.

Wishing you a very, very HAPPY BIRTHDAY with all  our love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PAPANG and MAMANG  

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