It was October 4, I was supposed to be writing a birthday blog, thinking I owed it to myself for always being on the run. But it's the same day I had trouble with my internet connection. In fact, I was out till just last night. I didn't know I was supposed to get really mad over the phone with those technical representatives so they would do something about my ordeal. So, on the eighth, painfully agonizing night, I took courage to sound really angry and demanding over the phone with the technical support. IF YOU'RE NOT FIXING MY LINE TOMORROW, I'M SWITCHING TO PLDT! I guess they felt my lava going through their ear pieces that the following day, that is yesterday, my line was back.
But then again, what would have I written about the past week? Just painful, sad, awful news. And I don't really like talking about such things in my journal. I usually write about them, when they're over and I am already able to make sense of it all. But now, I am just too tired and too sad to even think about it. I keep learning though, I keep taking it all in, dissecting them, nibbling them. Because that is what this existence is supposed to be: love, get hurt, learn, give, receive, get hurt again, love again. In the end, it will all still be for my good.
I am 32 already. I have been good, I have been bad, I have been in between. Sometimes I am like so sure of myself, seemingly self-effacing. Sometimes I am like a little girl lost in the jungle. But everyday, I decide. To keep on with the road I chose to tread. Just like any traveler, I encounter beasts along the way, much as I encounter angels who make my journey more bearable. Yes, I am one, grateful and hopeful traveler. But as I share my life freely as I go along, there are pains that I am bringing with me to my grave.
(I thank maping for this very beautiful photo.I thought just now, that it can speak something for this post. Thank you maping!)
