Each night, before hitting the sack, I pray over my Gabriel. I lay may hand on his head and pray my heart out to God. I always cry. Sometimes I wonder why I have to cry, but could I help it? Gabriel is the most precious gift God ever gave me and Reinee. Every prayer for him is an offering to the Lord, entrusting his future, his being. As a first-time mom, I have many fears, anxieties, worries. You name it. And if I don't try to get hold of myself, I'd go nuts. So I pray, and ask God to teach me how, so then I can love Gabriel more freely, more purely. I'm tired of loving and fearing of losing, at the same time. I'm tired of living and fearing death, at the same time. Such a lousy way to enjoy the every day alloted to me. Then again, it's okay to get scared sometimes, feel anxious, worry about even petty things. What is important is you know you don't have to get drowned in it. Life is good and beautiful. It has to be a choice, an everyday choice. Otherwise everything else is a misery.
PS: just writing about this helps me get through even just this day.
1 comment:
it is good to let it out and helps...you always want the best for your child and want to shield them as much as you can...it's great being a Mom and won't exchange it for the world :D
Post a Comment